December 7, 2024
With the fact that we as a country have elected a bully to be the next President of the United States, my recent thoughts have returned to this abhorrent behavior. Over the last eight years we've seen our fellow citizens become more emboldened to hurt others that are not like them, be that by physical or emotional means.
Bullying takes its root in insecurity. This can be traced back to the perpetrator nearly 100% of the time. They lack skills that were never developed, like kindness, compassion, and acceptance of others. It's this lack of skills that mainly drives their ambition to exert power over those who they perceive to be weaker or lesser.
Victims of bullying can often be emotionally scarred not only at the moment of an attack, but also many years later into adulthood. In my opinion, severe bullying qualifies as trauma and that trauma can be triggered at any time. When I was a kid we didn't have the easy reach of the internet to malign someone else. We had to do it the old-fashioned way face-to-face. At least then there was some accountability and you could physically fight back.
There is a danger that some victims of bullying become bullies themselves, thus perpetuating the cycle. But I suspect that a lot of people who were bullied as a child tend to be more introspective (because of their perceived "weakness") and learn the ability to look at themselves and decide, no, that's not who they want to be. They want to be better. This introspection is something that bullies lack, often times into adulthood and their senior years as we see with a certain someone.
It's hard to always do this, but if you're ever confronted by bullying behavior (passive-aggressive bullying is the worst!) either in-person or online, the best recourse of action is to step back and remember that the perpetrator's behavior says more about them than it does about you. They have to live with the destructive behavior that will eventually catch up with them. You, you wonderful person, you have taken your life experiences and learned from them to grow into a kind, caring, accepting human.
That's your power. Don't let anyone take that away.
(*I had never heard this expression before C mentioned it but it's perfect for many situations.)